My Body Is Betraying Me! What Happens During Perimenopause?

Let’s talk about perimenopause…

Ok, let’s just roll up our sleeves and do it. It’s not fun, it’s not sexy, but today we’re delving into perimenopause. When I was a young lass of 30, I knew enough about menopause, but perimenopause? I had no clue. It’s like a weird continuation of that Britney Spears song, I’m not a girl, not yet an old woman. For those unsure, perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause when your ovaries gradually stop working, what fun! Since your ovaries are gradually withering before they turn to dust and blow away, there are some physical and emotional symptoms you’ll have to deal with…

Mood Swings

You know that day or two before your period when you’re a complete emotional wreck? How would you like a bunch of those days? Or maybe you’ll be the happiest girl in the world one minute, the next you’re crying over a stranger’s graduation cake in the super market? Who knows how you’ll handle any situation while your emotions are on a nonstop tilt-a-whirl? It’s impossible to tell! Hopefully you’re surrounded by people who will let your mood swings slide, or will at least be receptive to your apologies for them.

Hot Flashes

This girl is on fiiiiiirrreee…JK, kinda. Most of what I knew about hot flashes are from sitcoms and movies playing over the top hot flashes for laughs, and friends though there is nothing funny about hot flashes, they were not exaggerating. I get a very sudden feeling of (extreme) heat starting at my chest and rapidly spreading to the rest of my body. I flush, blush, and sweat. But the real fun part is sweating so much you’re then freezing, love to be on not only a rollercoaster of emotions but also temperatures.

Brain Fog

Believe it or not, I used to be a smart little cookie. Now it feels like my brain has holes the size of softballs. I used to know so much! I could intelligently talk about almost anything for hours, now I do things like forget the word “cinnamon” and call spin class “you know, the one with the bike that doesn’t go anywhere”. And yes some of the blame is on Andy Cohen for supplying me with an endless supply of brainless content, but most of this is on perimenopause.

Weight Gain

Since my birthday four months ago I’ve been getting back in shape. I workout HARD, five days a week. I eat clean and track macros. Want to know how much weight I’ve lost doing this? I’ve gained four pounds. I started crying at the gym (back to mood swings!) one day because this is how hard I have to work now if I want to have chicken parm once a month and not gain forty pounds. This is my new normal, yay.

Insomnia

Sleepless in Seattle, or wherever you live. Kiss being able to just lay your head on the pillow, close your eyes, and easily fall asleep goodbye. In my younger days I could sleep like a log laying my head on a jagged rock, now? The room needs to be perfect temperature, I need a specific white noise, no screens for at least two hours before bed, sleepy tea, melatonin, all things…and then I will still toss and turn for half the night. To paraphrase Taylor Swift, midnights will become your afternoons.

Skin Stuff

Those good damn hormones wreak HAVOC on our skin. Breakouts and blackheads, wrinkles and thinning, dryness EVERYWHERE (if you know what I mean). Perimenopause can completely change your skin; which means you might need to completely change your skincare routine. Sorry bout it!

My fellow women of a certain age, I know perimenopause can feel like a lonely, wild ride you did not sign up for, but you’re not alone! Women have suffered in silence for generations, but no more! Normalize talking about perimenopausal symptoms! Grab your girls, a bottle of wine, and maybe an ice pack or two, and commiserate. Laughter is the best medicine…although now some of us have to worry about peeing a little when we laugh.

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